In a stunning joint intelligence maneuver, Russian and American operatives have reportedly collaborated to place virtual reality headsets onto both Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump, immersing them in entirely fabricated realities for “geopolitical stability reasons.”
Sources within the intelligence community say the operation, dubbed “Project Deep Slumber,” was initiated after concerns grew over the unpredictability of both leaders. “We figured if they’re already living in their own versions of reality, why not make it official?” said an anonymous operative.
Putin, now existing in a meticulously crafted simulation where he has successfully annexed the entire planet, reportedly spends his days delivering victorious speeches from a golden throne while generals nod in unison. Meanwhile, Trump’s VR world consists of a never-ending 2016 election night, with CNN anchors crying on a loop and a nationwide celebration in his honor.
“The mission has been a resounding success,” said one analyst. “Putin is too busy overseeing a fictional space invasion of Mars, and Trump is occupied with a simulated Twitter feed where every post gets two billion likes.”
Experts say the operation has drastically reduced global tensions. “We’ve noticed a remarkable decrease in nuclear threats and tweets written in all caps,” said one relieved diplomat. “We might even try this on Congress next.”
The UK government is now considering a similar operation for Nigel Farage.
This is satire, of course. The real world is nothing like that…
But if you want to see how things actually work, here are some totally real, absolutely normal links that inspired this story:
Trump’s Approval Ratings & Economic Fallout: Despite his best efforts, the economy is struggling under Trump’s second term, and his approval rating reflects growing frustration.
• Putin Faces Growing Unrest in Russia: While state media paints a rosy picture, protests, political crackdowns, and economic stagnation are fueling dissatisfaction.
themoscowtimes.com + reuters.com
• Russians Are Souring on Putin’s War: After years of conflict, many Russians are questioning the war effort and its toll on the country’s future.
• Trump’s January 6 Pardons Spark Backlash: Even some of his strongest supporters are uneasy about his latest round of pardons.
A Fine Selection of Satirical Amuse-Bouches:
Elon Musk Posts “Abhorrent” AI-Generated Image of Prominent Democrats, Promptly Retweeted by Tucker Carlson
Hollywood’s Bold New Pivot: Movies Where Characters Make Sensible Decisions
Fast Food Giant Acquires Company That Turns Fecal Matter into Beef Patties
Pet Fashion Brand ‘Chonky’ Under Fire for Promoting Unrealistic Body Standards—for Fat Pets
